Vol. 647
Everyone knows a secret, told in the most sacred confidence, shared only to a best friend, is an oath that should never be broken. I know that, and yet, in the end, I broke the very promise I made.
It was a long time ago, back when I was a freshman, living away from home, in a different state, bewildered by the magnitude of adulthood, that I met someone who was soon to become my roommate, and then, after graduation, my apartment mate. I had best friends before, of course, but this was different. This was my first adult best friend. She was beautiful, kind, soft spoken, and loyal. I was adventurous, rowdy, and bursting with independence. That we became friends was unlikely, but true, and the gears were in motion that proved later, to be greater than both of us, and more important than we would ever know at that time.
It must have been a year or so later, when we were mired in studies, spending sleepless nights worrying about grades and things that people worry about at that age, that she sat me down to tell me a story that has stayed with me until this day. She was an unwed mother, abandoned by her parents, shamed by the community in which she lived, sent away by herself, to bear a child, a daughter. She couldn’t have raised the child, without support, without money, without housing, so she was forced by circumstances to give the baby up for adoption. She said it was the most devastating day of her life.
As she spoke, I remember watching her carefully choose her words, as though each one carried a weight too heavy to be set down. There were long pauses between sentences. At times she stared out the window rather than at me, as if she were seeing another place and another time. I could hear the sorrow in her voice, but there was something else there too—a grief that had never been allowed to heal because it had never been acknowledged. For years she had carried that burden alone.
She shared that with me, and made me promise to keep her confidence. I did.
For five decades I did not utter a word, not to anyone, not even to her. Her need to unburden herself did not need me to pry, and somehow, with loans, she made it through school and was proud of herself, despite the fact that she graduated without her family there to witness her success. I often thought about that graduation day. While other students celebrated with parents and siblings, posing for photographs and accepting bouquets of flowers, she stood largely alone. Yet she smiled. She had survived circumstances that would have crushed many people, and she had earned every bit of that diploma.
A year after we roomed together in an apartment in New York, I married and moved away. Life, as it often does, carried us in different directions. Careers, families, obligations, and miles accumulated between us. We exchanged letters for a while, then holiday cards, and eventually even those became sporadic. Still, whenever we reconnected, it felt as though no time had passed. True friendships have a way of preserving themselves through long
silences.
When we reunited years later, she had been married, cheated on, and left by her husband. But that wasn’t the worst of it. She had fallen ill to a debilitating disease, and had to be moved into a care facility. The only good that came out of her marriage were two daughters, born a few years apart. Her life was not easy, but she carried on with grace and dignity, still keeping fast her secret.
I visited her whenever I could. Though her body grew weaker, her spirit never seemed diminished. She remained thoughtful and generous, asking more questions about others than she ever answered about herself. Occasionally I wondered whether she thought about the daughter she had lost. I suspect she did every day. A mother never forgets her child. Yet she rarely spoke of her. The secret remained tucked away in a quiet corner of her heart.
She died two years ago, and I was notified by her daughters after they found my name and phone number among her possessions.
The news hit me harder than I expected. Even though her illness had prepared everyone for the inevitable, I felt as though a chapter of my own life had closed. With her passing went shared memories, inside jokes, youthful adventures, and all the experiences that only the two of us fully understood. I attended her memorial service and listened as others spoke of her kindness, resilience, and unwavering devotion to her family. They described the woman they knew. I sat silently, carrying the story they did not.
I don’t know what possessed me, but all I can attribute it to was her final wish from her grave, that her adopted daughter was located. Her need to be certain she was all right. That she was in good health and didn’t need anything. So, I did what I thought was right, and for the first time in my life, revealed a secret, sworn to me in secrecy, to her now-adult daughters.
I asked them if they might want to try to locate their sister, even though I had little information to help them. Their response surprised me. There was no anger, no shock, no judgment. Instead, there was compassion. They immediately wanted to know more about her. They wanted to know where she was, how she was doing, and whether she had lived a happy life. In that moment, I felt certain I had done the right thing.
I never knew what happened after that, until two nights ago, when I received an email from one of them, and honestly, I can say it was heaven-sent. They joined ancestry.com and eventually found their sister, who, as it turns out, had no information about her mother, my sweet friend, because it had been a closed adoption.
She told them for her entire life she thought her mother didn’t want her, and felt discarded, and unworthy of being loved, when nothing was further from the truth.
Reading those words brought tears to my eyes. For fifty years, two separate stories had existed in parallel. On one side was a mother who never stopped loving the daughter she could not keep. On the other was a daughter who spent a lifetime believing she had been abandoned. Neither knew the truth of the other’s heart. The tragedy of that realization is difficult to describe.
Yet there was also something beautiful in it. After decades of misunderstanding, the truth had finally found its way into the light. My friend was no longer alive to tell her daughter how much she had loved her, but perhaps the people who knew her could help fill in those missing pieces.
She is going to contact me soon, she said, and ask that I can tell her all about the woman who gave birth to her. It will be my pleasure. I will tell her about the courage it took for her mother to endure what she did. I will tell her about her intelligence, her kindness, and her quiet strength. I will tell her that not once, in all the years I knew her, did she speak of her daughter without love in her eyes. I will tell her that she was wanted, cherished, and remembered.
In some small way, I was humbled to have been a part of the beginning of healing for this woman. This was a secret needed to be told.
For what it’s worth, I am a firm believer that destiny puts us where we need to be, when we need to be there. Sometimes we are entrusted with a story not because it belongs to us, but because one day we may be called upon to carry it across a bridge of years and place it gently into the hands of someone who has been waiting for it all along. Perhaps that was my role in this story. Perhaps that was why our paths crossed all those years ago.
If so, I am grateful.
Some promises are made to protect the living. Others, it seems, are released when the truth becomes the greater act of love.
Admittedly, it’s been years since I’ve had any need for employment. I spent a few memorable months after Harvard effectively being held hostage in an entry-level office job. It was long enough to experience the endless meetings, baffling management decisions, broken equipment, pointless paperwork, and soul-crushing bureaucracy that is so brilliantly portrayed here. While Office Space may have been made on a shoestring budget, anyone who has ever survived a dysfunctional corporate workplace will recognize that its observations are worth far more than most modern blockbusters.
Mike Judge’s 1999 cult classic is a sharp, often painfully accurate look at what happens when intelligent people find themselves trapped inside a corporate culture that seems determined to drain every ounce of enthusiasm from the workday. While the film is exaggerated for comedic effect, its observations about workplace culture is less like fiction and more like documentary footage.
The story follows Peter Gibbons, a software employee working for Initech, a company where bureaucracy appears to have become an art form. Peter spends his days navigating a maze of managers, pointless reports, endless interruptions, and workplace policies that seem designed to make simple tasks more complicated. Like many employees who have spent years inside large organizations, he reaches a point where he begins questioning why any of it exists in the first place.
Peter’ doesn’t launch a crusade, and doesn’t become a motivational speaker. He simply stops participating in the nonsense, and exposes just how much of office culture depends on people quietly accepting absurdity as normal.
Of course, Peter is surrounded by some of the most memorable characters ever assembled in a workplace comedy.
At the center of the madness is Milton Waddams, the mumbling employee who is overlooked, and shuffled from desk to desk. Clutching his beloved red stapler as viewers watch a man pushed to the absolute edge by an organization that barely acknowledges his existence.
One of the most recognizable bosses ever put on screen, Bill Lumbergh isn’t loud or aggressive. He embodies passive aggressive management perfection. His trademark habit of wandering into employees’ cubicles with a coffee mug in hand and delivering phrases like, “Yeah, I’m gonna need you to come in on Saturday,” has become legendary. Anyone who has ever received a last minute request from management will instantly recognize the type. Lumbergh isn’t a villain in the traditional sense. He’s far worse. He’s believable.
The supporting cast is equally colorful. Peter’s frustrated coworkers, Michael Bolton and Samir Nagheenanajar, provide some of the film’s funniest moments as they navigate workplace absurdities . One scene in particular remains as satisfying today as it was when the film was released. The infamous printer destruction sequence has become one of the most iconic moments in comedy history. Armed with a sledgehammer, Peter and his coworkers take turns demolishing a malfunctioning office printer that has tormented them for months.
“PC LOAD LETTER”
The message flashes repeatedly on the printer’s tiny screen, completely baffling employees. Although it is technically instructing users to load letter-sized paper, it does so in such a cryptic, robotic way that no one understands it. For Peter, Michael Bolton, and Samir, the printer becomes a symbol of every maddening piece of office technology that seems designed to make work harder, not easier. When it spits out the infamous error during the sledgehammer scene, Samir delivers one of the film’s most memorable lines: “PC Load Letter? What the f*** does that mean?” The quote became legendary because it perfectly captured the universal frustration people felt toward office technology in the 1990s, a sentiment many still share today.
Interestingly, the printer scene wasn’t just funny because they destroyed a machine. It worked because the audience completely understood their rage. The printer had become a stand-in for every broken process, every useless policy, and every daily irritation that slowly chips away at workplace morale. That’s why audiences cheer when the sledgehammers come out. They’re not really watching three guys destroy a printer. They’re watching three guys destroy frustration itself. I suspect that is why the sequence has remained so popular for nearly three decades. It captures a fantasy most professionals have entertained at least once.
As the story unfolds, Peter and his friends begin looking for ways to reclaim control over their lives. That eventually leads them to devise a clever financial scheme involving Initech’s accounting system.
Without venturing too far into spoiler territory, the plan centers on a software program written by Peter and Samir that quietly skims fractions of pennies from thousands of company transactions and redirects the money into a separate account. The amounts are so small that they would ordinarily disappear into routine accounting adjustments and rounding calculations.
What Peter and his coworkers are really exploiting is the complexity of the very system that frustrates them every day. They understand the technology better than many of the people running the company. In a sense, the scheme becomes an act of rebellion against an organization that seems incapable of understanding its own operations.
The subplot works because it reflects another reality of corporate life. Large organizations often become so layered with procedures, policies, and management structures that few people fully understand how everything works. Systems become black boxes. Processes become rituals. Accountability becomes diluted. Office Space cleverly uses the money skimming plot to expose those weaknesses while delivering some of the film’s funniest moments.
Yet beneath all the comedy lies a surprisingly thoughtful message. People want purpose. They want competence to matter. They want leaders who understand the work being done. Most importantly, they want to feel like human beings rather than employee numbers occupying a cubicle.
That is why Office Space continues to resonate with audiences decades after its release. The technology may have changed. The office layouts may look different. Some TPS reports have likely been replaced by digital dashboards and project management software.
But, few films have captured the absurdity of corporate life with such precision, and even fewer have managed to make those frustrations this funny. Office Space remains one of the smartest workplace comedies ever made because it understands a simple truth: sometimes the craziest part of the office isn’t the people. It’s the system itself. And what makes Office Space so effective is that we’ve seen these people before.
I give Office Space a perfect 5 Whiskey Glasses. It’s one of the funniest, smartest, and most relatable workplace comedies ever made. If I could, I’d give it 10 more whiskey glasses just for helping me survive another one of my girlfriend’s “must-watch” romance marathons where absolutely nothing explodes and everyone spends two hours talking about their feelings.
Vol. 646
Hi everyone. Well, it’s that time of the year again. The snowbirds are gone, the traffic is lighter (maybe) and the heat is on. That also means the dreaded anxiety that comes with hurricane season. It runs from June 1 through November 30, but to my recollection, my worst fears rise up in August and September. But this year I am going to be positive. Not about the storms, no one wants them, but about getting myself as prepared ahead of time. Unless you are new to Florida, it is no surprise that we have to stock up on canned and non-perishable food, water and medicine, but we don’t have to wait until the last ominous moment, or drain our bank account because we’re racing around at the last minute buying everything we can get our hands on. Here is my plan. I am going to stock up on bottled water each time I go to the food store. Let me add right here that there are plenty of ways to use the water that comes from the tap. Just pour as much as you can into things like pots and pitchers. Hey, water is water! There should be plenty on the shelf so that no one gets rammed by a crazed shopper at the last minute. I’m also going to stock up on food that I know I’ll use throughout the year if we don’t have a hurricane. For me, that means tuna fish, crackers, peanut butter, jelly, spam (ugh! But I buy it every year, and have never once eaten it) and lots and lots of snacks! Don’t forget pet food for our furry friends who will feel the same anxiety that you feel if you’re not prepared. As for medicine, don’t wait until the last minute to refill a prescription, and some physicians/pharmacies will give you medication early to have on hand.
I don’t know about you, but as soon as I hear there is a hurricane out there somewhere, I clean. It’s true! I’m like a madwoman mopping floors, straightening closets and dusting furniture. Why? Who knows? I’m not here to explain my weirdness to you, I’m just stating the facts! I also never let my car gas tank get below three quarters of a tank. It’s like a security blanket so that if the time comes, I don’t have to face lines of cars or signs that say “out of gas”. For the kids, stock up on things to do, like puzzles and games. I’d say books but even though they’re my best friends, most children would disagree. If your children are addicted to their electronics, you might have more to worry about besides wind and rain. An addict without their fix isn’t a pretty sight! And don’t forget to fill your bathtubs or other containers so that you can add water to the back of your toilet to flush during power outages.
Stock up on flashlights, batteries and insect repellent. Also, my favorite, paper towels. I love the environment and try very hard not to overuse them unless there is a hurricane. Then I give myself permission. Hey, I can’t help it. It makes me calm!
Please don’t rely upon candles. They’re good for light, but they’re also good for burning down your house. As always, it goes without saying to move all your outdoor furniture and flying objects inside or they will move themselves inside through the window they break during strong winds. And it also goes without saying, NEVER leave your pets outside. Hopefully you have window protection. Hurricane windows and doors are optimal, but good old fashioned metal shutters do just as good a job, although you can’t wait until the wind has picked up to install them. They can become dangerous. If you are using shutters, make sure that after the wind dies down, they come off. They can’t stay on all summer because it hampers being rescued in an emergency. If you do decide to leave, make your plane reservations early. Planes stop flying at a certain point well before the hurricane. Also bridges are barricaded once the wind reaches a certain speed. If you are going to leave by car, just remember that in past years, some hurricanes have covered the entire state and even on up to Georgia, so staying put might be your best bet. Once you make your plans, you can rest easier knowing that you’ve done all you can do.
For What it’s Worth, I’ve lived here almost fifty years, and fingers crossed, I’m still here to write about it! Good luck and be safe to us all!
Vol. 645
Okay, I have two things to say at the same time, so let me take a breath. First, thank you for all the emails regarding broken ankles, broken hips, broken pelvis’, broken wrists. By the time I received the last one, not only did I commiserate with all of you, but I wondered how any of us aren’t broken all day long, all of the time. It was both interesting and disturbing all at once, but to those of you who told me your stories, horrifying as they were, I thank you.
Next. This is what I think may be enlightening for those of you who have thyroid issues. Let me say right now, I am not a doctor of medicine. I do not hold an MD. I am a retired R.N. which does not qualify me for the article I am about to write, but since I don’t feel like repeating this after ever sentence, please mentally insert this when you read what I have to say. This way it’s clear. I have no expertise in this area. That’s my disclaimer. Now, here goes.
Apparently, although a primary care doctor sometimes manages thyroid issues, many patients are managed by endocrinologists, or doctors who specialize in this area. Okay, I am sure that many of them take the time to instill information regarding taking thyroid medication, but it has come to my attention more than once, okay more than a lot, that patients are not always told the do’s and don’t’s of taking this medication. From what I’ve heard, from what I’ve read and from what I’ve researched on the internet (Co-Pilot for example) I am convinced that many people don’t realize that just popping their thyroid pill in the morning is not good enough without knowing the importance of other facts, so here goes.
According to sources, levothyroxine seems to be the most popular drug for hypothyroidism (low thyroid). However, how you take it and when you take it also matters. This is what I’ve learned.
If you take your thyroid medication in the morning, you should take it with a glass of water. Nothing else for at least 30 minutes, some say 60 minutes. If you drink coffee, you absolutely should wait one hour between the time you take your medication and the time you drink your cup of Joe, otherwise, the coffee negates the medication. The same goes for some other drinks and food, but coffee seems to be the worst culprit. Then, if you take supplements, even a simple vitamin pill, you should wait at least four hours between taking your thyroid medication and taking supplements. The only thing that seems to be immune from this rule are eye drops, which apparently do not go into the blood stream. So, when you have your blood tests done, let’s say, T3, T4, and TSH, and you have taken your medication plus coffee, your lab results will not necessarily be reflective of actual levels.
Why does this matter to me? Because I have a good friend whose TSH rose rapidly over six months, only to have the doctor continue to increase his thyroid medication to match the blood work. However, no one ever told him not to take his medication with coffee. It was as if he had never taken his medication at all, with disastrous results. So, please do your research, please speak to your doctor about what you’ve learned, and please take the thyroid gland seriously. It may be a little pill, but it controls a lot.
Okay, I’ll say it one more time. Don’t take my word for any of the above. I tell you this in good faith, but it is up to you to read up on this medication, and frankly, any medication that you ingest. For what it’s worth, I think perhaps doctors should hand out paperwork on medication that has to be regulated with the food you eat, but that’s just me. I understand that doctors are overloaded with patients and paperwork, but sometimes taking a few extra minutes can make a giant difference in the health of their patients. If you happen to be someone whose doctor has taken the time to look at every pill and supplement you take and advise you accordingly, consider yourself fortunate. If you want more information after you do your research, ask your doctor for specific instructions. Sometimes they are not aware that you might not have disclosed everything that passes your lips.
Vol. 644
Directed by: David Frankel
Well, I’m still here at The Harrison, counting the days till I can get out. Not that it isn’t a great place. In some ways it’s much better than expected but in others I’m still trying to get the kinks out…if only I could run the world, lol. But I digress. One of the most interesting things that has happened to me this week is that I realize that culturally, many of us take things for granted in some cultures or geographic locations while others don’t. For example, as most of you know, I am an author and have written several books, the last two of which are part of a three book trilogy, (the third I am writing now while I am holed up in this home away from home). Anyway, after a couple of weeks of being here, one of my helper aids, not sure what to call them, but not nurses, not housekeeping, but the hub of the wheel who keep things rolling along such as getting me to my meals etc., happened to ask what I was writing. I happened to be seated at my computer, pounding away, and I said I was working on my third book.
Now, I have four grown children and six grandchildren. I like to think I raised them well, educated them well, and fostered a love of reading, but I am sorry to say that two of my four children have yet to pick up any of my books. I don’t take offense, it’s just not their thing. In any event, when Marie, the health care aide, heard I was an author, I thought she was going to pass out. I mean she whooped and hollered so loudly that you would think I just got off a bus from Hollywood and was a celebrity. Honestly, I was taken aback. I’ve never seen anyone so excited and it was almost embarrassing, but I really appreciated it. I thought about it most of the evening, and realized that perhaps it is a cultural difference, maybe a financial difference, maybe an educational difference but this woman, who works for minimum wage was immediately my biggest fan.
I had a couple of books brought over from home, and the next day you would have thought I gave her a million dollars. Then she said she couldn’t read English very well, but she would try, and just to have them was an honor. I am stunned. What happened next was even more surreal. A knock on my door an hour later, an older male nurse, also from another country, holding one of the books I gave her and she asking me to make him give it back. You can’t make this up. I had several more copies brought over the next day, and not only did he get his own copies, but two other aids came to my door wondering if they might have some.
Now, while I am personally pleased with the books, and am not about to win the Pulitzer Prize for literature, I’m still baffled by their excitement and response. I do recall a time when authors were revered, especially back in the fifties and sixties of modern day times, but then reading lost its luster, and writers were a cheap dime a dozen. I am honored by their attention, but more than that, I am saddened by what has become complacency among much of the population, regardless of what people have achieved, from being a rocket scientist to being the best darn waitress in the out of the way diner in a small town. All of them, all of us, have poured our heart into what we try to do, and I almost forgot what it was like to have strangers appreciate our efforts.
I for one am going to congratulate and appreciate everyone from here on, out loud. We’re all just trying to do the best we can and it’s really nice to be recognized. This is not a slur on my best friends, who have always gushed about what I have written, but by the stranger who you don’t know and meet accidentally, who make you think what you are doing is really worthwhile. I’m making it my business to thank everyone, all the time, forever, whether they are the plumber or the teacher in public school. Sometimes we forget that everyone can use a pat on the back and it costs us nothing. More news from The Harrison on my next article. I have a feeling it’s going to be about the food if they don’t get their act together with my special diet, lol.